Being alone can be liberating. Not having to listen to others or compromise what you want to do is a freedom most wish to have in all aspects of their lives. But after prolonged periods of time, it is sometimes nice to have some company or like-minded people around. (Even if they like to be alone too!)
Sometimes our goals or lifestyles keep us so busy that we neglect to take some time to unwind and enjoy some genuine relations with other people. This can have some negative results. In moments where being alone turns into loneliness, it’s important to have options to remedy the situation. Here we will go over a list to ways of how to not be alone.
Sometimes it takes effort, other times just a phone call. It sounds obvious, but we all should realize it isn’t as always as simple as we would like, or it once had been, to incorporate others into our schedule.
As kids, we just strolled over to our buddy’s house and asked if, “Tommy or Suzy can come out and play,” or went to the park where all the other kids were bound to be. Also, someone was usually home; whether it was because as children we had to be looked over or not.
It’s not even that we took company for granted as kids. Most likely you always appreciated having others around. We were put alone in our room or in a corner as punishment when we misbehaved. Today that punishment is worse for kids if they’re stripped of their smartphone as well. (I, growing up, didn’t have access to the world in the palm of my hand!) I have a feeling that kind of punishment’s results are amplified for the youth of today.
Either way, even at a young age, banishment or alienation from society as we know it is not appealing. The value of good company is part of being human; part of our behavioral patterns. It’s an important element of our life-cycle. Having the right people in assembly can literally improve your health and well-being!
In these reflections, we see being around people was just a fluid part of our everyday routine growing up. When we get older, our schedules become more complex and our time finds a way to get very consumed. We can start to miss what we once had easy access to. The good news is, there are still plenty of options to get us some good assemblage! Let’s check out these easy ways to get ourselves some company and get to the congregating!
Plan an outing with some friends or family. Give plenty of notice, and even play the numbers game. Not everyone’s schedule will line up. If you can make the time, work with other’s to fit them in another time soon. In the meantime, you could invite those with better availability:
- Out to dinner and drinks
- On a spontaneous road trip
- To a professional sporting event
- To a concert of a mutually liked band
- Camping or ski/snowboarding trips (any seasonal excursion)
- To a hosted themed party at your place or a rented venue
I recommend if the plan involves money (in the form of group reservations and other relative costs) get payments. This will help in having your friends more obligated to follow through and you not take a financial loss to flakes. Be upfront with this and try not to be too outrageous with prices. Keep in mind high costs can deter people. Sometimes people just can’t afford certain luxuries.
If the case is that you’re a workaholic, it’s time for a break. That lifestyle may be your fancy, but if it is draining all traces of your soul, you need some replenishment. Make some arrangements and call some friends for a gathering. Any of the ideas up top are applicable. Or even plan on visiting for a holiday. Often that is the easiest way to catch everyone together in one place at the same time.
I’d like to mention, put away pride. Life is too short. If you had a minor, perhaps even major disagreement in the past, make amends at the very least. I understand that it is possible that a family member or former friend is completely intolerable. In that case, it may be better to just let dead dogs lie. But, if both of you can move on as adults and get past dated, pointless drama, make that call and see where it goes.
In the case your schedule doesn’t mesh with any of your friends or family, then you’re going to have to find other means to get involved with other people. If you don’t like strangers or have a hard time meeting new people, you need to weigh out which is worse for you: Getting out of your shell or staying boxed in and alone?
One of the easiest places to start is meetup.com. It’s a completely social site. You can check it out online or install the app on your phone. There are tons of interests you can plug in. Then you join groups that have common hobbies, jobs, pursuits, and other interests in your city.
Meetup has tons of group outings, events, and activities. The more groups you join, the more opportunities you’ll have to meet new people and maybe even try new things. This is especially useful if you’re alone because you moved to a new city! This site puts a plethora of options to not be alone and is possibly the best route to take.
GO TO A BAR
Though they’re not always known for being the best environment, going to a bar, tavern, or saloon will gain you instant company. If there is one close in your neighborhood or city, it’s nice to go and have a drink and start some conversation. Just one drink and being in a different environment can let out a lot of cooped up style stress.
If you’ve been to a bar you’ll know which kind of people to avoid and who you’re most likely to get along with. I say this, because there our times when we go out and can regret it. “I should have stayed at home,” may be a familiar comment of resent. In reality, sometimes holding out and staying alone is better than having bad company.
Use this option at your own discretion. Alternately, if you’re a recovering alcoholic, go to an AA meeting. There are always people ready to share in company and in deeper connections in Alcoholics Anonymous.
ATTEND CITY FUNCTIONS
Professional sport stadiums and arenas can be a fun place to go out and not feel alone. If you’re into sports, this is a great option to go out and be around people. You can attend these even without family or friends. And even if you’re not into sports, people are in high spirits and you can be around this positive vibe. All you’ll have to do is talk about how awesome the city is, and you’re bound to make some acquaintances.
These venues are great for concerts for the same reason. It’s much easier to approach people when you share a commonality. And if you start with that, and you get along with people you’ve just met, you perhaps may gain some new friends!
Get a pet
Dogs make great companions…and some cats. It’s unfortunate if you have allergies, lack the living means(apartment/rental restrictions) or don’t like animals. This isn’t the most convenient option for a lot of people. But having a pet provides companionship and improves well-being. Having the unconditional love of a pet can really boost happiness.
Pets improve interaction with other people by way of those who go out of their way to say hello to your animal, and inadvertently, you. It also gives opportunities to be social. There are dog parks, where other singles go with their pets (hint hint). When you have a pet, you really never are alone. Some pets will surprise you with their personality. Consider:
- Guinea Pigs (don’t just get one. It gives unhealthy anxiety to the pet)
- Nonvenomous snakes such as Ball Pythons or Rosy Boa’s
- Cats and dogs of course
- Fish (as far as personality and company, this is a tough one actually)
Going to church where people have the same beliefs can be great company. Surrounding yourself with people that share the same or similar spiritual values can be relieving or even enlightening. In this environment, people can be a bit more compassionate to your plight of being alone.
Religious gatherings aren’t for everyone, But if you’re feeling alone, it is an option. People have had spiritual breakthroughs by attending services of their beliefs. Sometimes the things we decline may be the one thing we actually need.
Taking up meditation is another alternative. When we learn to center ourselves and our place in the universe, we can release stress even in our solidarity. There are group meditations that you could look into. Yoga is the most popular. The main point here is that loneliness can be more than just a social void. We sometimes need to look a little deeper. And we don’t have to be alone doing that either!
Stop being a jerk
If you have a poor attitude and don’t treat people well, you’re going to have to work on that! It more times then not is a reflection of a character flaw you need to be aware of, accept, and improve. It’s a simple fact that there are people out there that do not have an affable character.
If you feel this is you, then be nicer. We can get caught up in patterns of how we treat others. It can become second nature behavior that isn’t even thought about anymore. Take the time to reflect on how you react towards others. You may need to work on patience and understanding your fellow human. (Believe me buddy, I’m right there with you!)
Sometimes we’re alone because we are seeking higher levels/standards of life. We have extracted negative people out of our lives, and have moved on alone. This is a tough position, but a good move. It’s in this challenge and desire for better, that if we keep with it, will find those who fit our criteria for the better, and us theirs! Keep in mind that being alone is really an opportunity to fill that void with the right kind of people!
Don’t stuff past bad habits and people in a higher-quality you. There are some great options listed above to get you surrounded with the right kind of people. Sometimes we need to bide our time in being alone; in the realization and avoidance of those that adhere to the adage that ‘misery loves company.’
Thanks for reading! Feel free to comment or leave questions below!