Gone are the days when construction workers, bar crawlers, and scrubby urbanites were limited to traditional cat-calling at random girls on the street and any accompanying venue. There’s now become a new intrusive method delivered digitally that is colloquially known as Sliding into DM’s.
Now any person can, almost anytime, experience this kind of pestering, flattery, or bold appraoch in the comfort of their own home, public bathroom stall, or wherever they find themsleves within range of a wi-fi signal.
In our modern on-line times, the language changes and develops just as fast as the tech. Fresh ways of understanding others emerge through new communication mediums and the associated jargon. But to those not hip to the times and terms, what does this sliding into ‘business’ mean exactly?…
DM is shorthand for Direct Message. “Sliding into” is slang for placing oneself without permission or invitation. Dictionary.com explains that “To slide into the DM’s is a reference to sending someone a private message on social media, often to initiate or extend romantic contact, with a suave confidence. It takes a conversation from public to private.”
This tactic has become the new way to impose mostly uninvited pick-up lines, half-witted compliments, and annoying requests to a crush or attractive person in a hopeful stake of reciprocation. It takes place through smartphones, computers, and tablets (whoever still uses those).
But it’s not all bad and there are a variety of other reasons for a DM. It does go both ways insofar as rejection and acceptance are concerned. At times, it can be very complimenting as much as irritating to the receiver.
Consequently, these messages provides some helpful Intel about the sender that will determine what the recipient’s next step will be in this digitally formatted attempt at courtship or other pursuit.
So what can we learn from a stranger or an estranged/distant acquaintance hitting us up via Instagram, Facebook, or Snapchat through a ping or vibration notification from our device?
You Have Something I Want!
The most obvious disclosure is some kind of interest in the targeted person. Whether it be for a hookup, random inquiry, or a shot at finding out if the target is interested as well. A direct message lets one know that someone wants something from them and thinks that they may have what they’re looking for.
Though if not interested (perhaps not as much a drag as cornering a bartender into a full on pass and inquisition), sliding into DM’s can give that similar unnerving irritation that comes with what could be deemed an unwarranted approach on an uninterested person minding their own business.
The person may not want to be bothered with romantic curiosities, sales pitches, or personal information extraction from anyone. Other times a person is flattered, excited, and perhaps even shocked that another to be considered a high-caliber person has taken an interest.
In this case, instead of being blocked or ignored, the next stage of courtship may continue. If the sender has something the recipient wants, the communication can also continue in the matter.
Whatever the pitch, we know the person is interested in our attention for whatever intention there may be.
This Is What I Have In Mind!
Beyond the blunt and obvious, “What’s up shorty?” and “Let’s hook up!” style message, a lot of information and ulterior motives will surface if the direct messaging goes back and forth. If not instantly, eventually the intent of the sender will be revealed.
They may be trying to sell something, get information, or get to know the person more intimately.
Women have been known to easily read the intention of the average man. This is arguably more of pattern recognition than of an ingrained instinct. Since a young age, women have dealt with sexual advancements from men way more than that of men from women.
So they become quite familiar with what’s behind what a man says and his intent. (Which, 4 out of 5 dentists would agree, is to get in her pants.) It is fairly the most likely thing a women first presumes when she gets a DM from a guy.
Dm’s are not limited to sexual desires. I myself, have had both hookup DM’s and the annoying person trying to sell me something I’m not interested in.
People bickering on an open forum may take it into DM form when topics and conversation get heated. The intent here is to vent anger or to be invective.
Sliding into DM’s intent includes a variety of reasons that include:
- Selling something
- Digging up gossip
- Sexual desire
- Friendly energy sharing
- Malicious intent too graphic, intense or truth exposing of the person for public threads
I See Your True Colors!
The angle and the message of a DM can be direct, subtle, humorous, mean, or creepy. People can display a whole different persona behind a keyboard than in person. But what gets shown is a side of a person that may not otherwise be so obvious in a formal meeting or conversation.
Character revealing tends to get a little deeper when in message form. The sender has more time to think out what they want to say and formulate how they want to be perceived. The recipient may gain an understanding of the education, intelligence, or genuine nature of the sender.
This personal glimpse can be the determining factor if the correspondence will continue or not.
Also, A person may simply not have the courage or guts to say certain things without the presence of some kind of protective barrier in front of them. They fear exposing themselves in real life one-on-one situations. Here, they feel naked and vulnerable. The consequences aren’t so immediate or existent at all to the sender through a DM.
On the negative aggressive side, a cowardly instigator is known as a ‘keyboard warrior.’
A point to consider is that a talented writer, or manipulator in general, can have another believe in him whatever he desires the target to. As insightful as a DM can be about the sender, we must still stay sharp to protect ourselves from cleverly concocted ill-intentions.
Oh, I Get It!
THE SENDER LEARNS (OR DOESN’T)
The sender perhaps doesn’t often learn as much as the recipient. But if the person sliding into DM’s is ignored, put on blast, or blocked, it becomes obvious their interest and intention is at a dead-end and that they should cease or move on.
Some are so thick-headed that it may take several rejections for them to clearly get the message. Blocking can happen when the sender just doesn’t seem to understand they’ve over-stepped their bounds, never gained the interest of, or displayed unwelcome advances.
But it does go both ways, and the DM sender may find out their target of interest isn’t anything worth pursuing any further. They can find out all they need to know about the character of the target and actually be the one to end the messaging.
They figure out they’re not desired back, or become the one not interested, and move on.
In The End, We All Learn Who’s Worth Our time
If you choose to be sliding into DM’s of strangers, distant acquaintances, or a person that you shared a brief encounter with, you may find out quite easily and quickly if the feeling was reciprocated. Who knows, maybe a new lasting relationship can be born of the effort.
“You miss every shot you don’t take” – Wayne Gretzky
Maybe you’ve been the target and have been either flattered, annoyed, or even indifferent. (The more we’re bludgeoned with something the more we become desensitized to it). If so, you get this whole process it and you’re pretty hip to the times. Congratulations friend! You are desirable to someone for something…
Whether one is the target, the initiator who scores, gets rejected, or finds out the there really isn’t a prize on the other end, we can get all the information we need to know through the interaction. From there, all can venture on with their life and slide into other endeavors.
Thanks for stopping by and allowing me to inform and entertain you. If you like read you read or just want to say hi, leave a message in the comments or feel free to slide into my DM’s.
– Mark G